


blue chalk lovers.

by qi4nz



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, grab tissues, jaemin has like one line, the rest of the dreamies are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:26:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23789293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qi4nz/pseuds/qi4nz
Summary: it all started with blue chalk.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	blue chalk lovers.

**taeyong hyungie**

jeno-ah, there’s a box downstairs

for you. do you want me to walk 

it up there?

**me**

yes please and thank you hyung.

**taeyong hyungie**

no problem!

**me**

hyung, i love you a lot.

thank you for everything.

**taeyong hyungie**

you’re welcome jeno

  
  
  


jeno opened the box, and was met with an envelope and multiple items.  _ his  _ items. his hands shaking, he opened the envelope. it was from donghyuck, _ but donghyuck died on valentine’s day  _ jeno thought as he unfolded the lined paper that consisted of the goodbye letter donghyuck wroke for the older.

  
  


.｡.:*♡ ❝ 못된 양아치 거울 속에 넌 . ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

  
  


_ january 21st, 2020. _

**dear lee jeno,**

hey! it’s me hyuck, and i know your dumbass is probably thinking “hyuck is still alive?” well if you are getting this letter, i'm not. first of all, i’d like to tell you happy birthday! the big twenty years old woop, i hope you’re out of your measly room and still aren’t mourning over me. i’m writing this because i have some things to confess in this letter, but let’s reminisce on the good ole’ days, when i was happy, shall we? . . .

  
  
  


**_august 2006._ **

_ “i want the blue chalk, gimme the chalk you poopyhead!”  _ donghyuck screamed into jeno’s ear. the other boy retaliated with scratching the tan boy’s arm, which seemed to work because he stopped pulling on the chalk. not even two seconds later, donghyuck let out the most inhumane screech known to mankind. 

_ “yah, lee jeno and lee donghyuck come here!” _ the pair hears their teacher, mr.cho, yell from the notorious wall. the duo was scolded for a good fifteen minutes before they both sat facing each other on the cold cement near the playground. 

at the time, the two stubborn children hated each other, but eventually their hatred would grow into something more.

  
  


_ in kindergarten, i remember i despised you so much for the simple fact that you had the blue chalk. well one day you came into class with a pokemon shirt on, and i thought it was so cool. we started to talk about our favorite pokemon’s and you smiled a lot. your smile, i have always been captivated by it. whenever you smile, all of my problems disappear just for a bit. you and your smile lee jeno, it could kill millions i swear! don’t stop smiling because of me nono. _

  
  
  
  
  


**_march 2012._ **

_ “shut up you fat bitch!”  _ donghyuck shivered in fear as the seventh grader yelled in his face. donghyuck was always a loud and extroverted child, but apparently that’s too obnoxious for the big kids. and since poor little hyuck couldn’t defend himself (seeing that he is pint sized) he normally sat through the pain.

the bully, yeochan, kicked donghyuck in his shin and the smaller fell to the ground in pain. donghyuck fearfully braced for impact, but the hit never came. He opened his eyes and saw jeno and yeochan shoving and kicking each other.

_ “HEY, YOU TWO STOP IT!”  _ a hall monitor yelled and called the principal on the walkie talkie. donghyuck was taken to the nurse’s office. jeno ended up with a swollen jaw and a four day suspension. along with that, he also had to give up his pokemon dek, which really affected him.

the pair walked home together that day in silence, until jeno spoke up about what happened.  _ “hyuckie, why didn’t you tell me? why didn’t you tell nana? we could’ve helped you, you aren't a burden to us.” _

  
  


_ lee jeno, another thing i like about you is your maturity. remember kim yeochan, my bully in sixth grade? he would (and still does) give me such a hard time, but you eventually shooed him off for a while. you specifically told me to tell you or jaemin when things get rough, but i already felt like a burden. i have always felt like i was dragging everyone down. but on a good note, you always cared about everyone in your life so much, you protective boy. don’t change your caring ways because of me. please stay the same, don’t break because of me. _

  
  
  


**january 2017.**

  
  


_ “lee jeno, be more careful!”  _ donghyuck scolded as he applied a pingu bandaid on the newly blonde haired boy’s eyebrow.  _ “you clumbsy fuck, you broke the blender and hurt yourself in the process.” _ jaemin chuckled from the other side of the break room, to which jeno flipped him off.

the three of them walked out the break room, and continued with work, but it isn’t mcdonalds if you don’t deal with your daily rude customer. a drunk man came into the store and started to act out, which you can’t just walk into mcdonalds and do that.

“sir, please calm yourself. you are putting our customers in an uncomfortable mood-” jeno tried to reason but the older man simply wasn’t complying, and that night jeno walked out of work with pingu bandaids on his fingers and hands.

  
  


_ i always liked how brave you were. you confronted that drunkard at mcdonalds and got hurt because of it. you always have risked everything for the people to love, which is a very good trait to have. whichever girl or boy that ends up with you jeno, they’re very lucky to have you. i was lucky to have such a wonderful best friend weren't i? gosh im such a selfish bitch but this is for the best. _

  
  
  


**february 2018.**

**me**

jeno, she found out.

**jenojam**

oh no..

did she hurt you?

**me**

no, but we did get

into a very bad argument.

**jenojam**

hyuck

i am always here if you need help

you know that, right?

**me**

yes

yes i do.

  
  
  


_ nono, you were always supportive of me. when my mom and i got into that big argument about me coming out, i messaged you first and you told me that you were always available if i needed help. you are so dedicated to friendships and helping out the other person, it makes me feel like a useless scumbag but if i told you that in real life you’d scold me. continue to support jaemin, renjun, mark, chenle and jisung please. _

  
  


❝ 이제 다시 돌아갈래 어릴 적 제자리로 ❞ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

  
  


in the box i have some random sweaters i think you’d like (because my mom is probably going to throw away my clothes lol.) in addition to those sweaters, i have some of the things i needed to return to you, but you told me to keep. but most importantly, i have our blue chalk, our pokemon deck that you lost from defending me and our pingu bandaids. i gave you our memories, because i want you to at least remember these things don't completely forget about me.

i never came to you when my depression started to get worse because i didn’t want to hurt you. to be honest jeno, i am in love with you. i guess this is a confession which is ironic because if you’re reading this i died on valentine's day and yoonoh hyung’s birthday but he’s irrelevant. i was scared to love you jeno, i didn’t want to disappoint you like how i disappointed everyone else.

i know i seemed like the carefree, extravagant lee donghyuck who doesn’t give a fuck about what people say, but deep down all the words did was feed the monster inside me. jeno i'm a loser, i'm a monster, i’m unhelpable. i know it will be hard to let go of your pokemon master, but you have to let me go baby. jeno, i’ll miss you calling me in the middle of the night asking me to sing you to sleep, or the nights we went to the diner and drank milkshakes and ate fries. 

i love you jeno. i love your smile, your voice, your personality, your handwriting, your everything. i love every single thing about you jeno, but you don’t have to feel the same, i’m just a dead boy what am i gonna do if you don’t love me back?

jeno, unfunny boy, nono, eye smile lee, my first and last love, don’t be sad for too long. i’m watching you from while i wait for you to join me so we can shit talk on humans together. i’ll wait one year, i’ll wait seven-three years. just know, i’m looking after you my love.

  
  


_ from yours truly, _

_ lee donghyuck aka duckie hyuckie :D ! _

  
  
  


.｡.:*♡ ❝ 숨쉬기조차 힘겨워 . ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

jeno held the chalk in his cold and shaking hand and let the tears finally drop. he quickly ran out of his room and into his driveway. “jeno! what are you doing!” jeno heard taeyong yell for him, but he wanted to give donghyuck a message. taeyong finally got outside and saw the younger boy shaking as he wrote with a blue chalk stick.

taeyong stood behind the boy and read the words ‘ _ lee donghyuck, i love you back. _ ’ taeyong teared up and helped jeno stand up. taeyong pulled jeno into a hug and whispered the reassurance the boy needed. “jeno, it’s going to be okay, we’ll get through this together.”

because things were going to be okay at the end of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> happy jeno day guys! i wrote this a couple days ago but i wanted to post it on jeno day, so here it is!


End file.
